Author's note: Although technically a piece of satiric poetry, this was originally submitted as part of my storytelling work. Since I am now working on a Rindile (Satirist) concentration, too, I intend to re-submit it as such. Who knows? I might just put it to music and get credit for it four times! (Now if only you could dance to it!)
T'was the Eve before Yuletide and all through the Grove
Not a Druid was sleeping - we were wearing just Woad!
The cauldrons were hung on huge stones, standing still
In hopes that An Dagda, with Mead, them, would fill.
The children were laughing, all naked and skinny,
Squealing, "Mine is an "Outie'! Look! Your's is an 'Innie'!"
The Teens were off doing what they've always done,
While their parents pretended, "My kids are too young!"
A Wicked Witch winked, and asked, "How's it hangin?"
Then she dragged me behind a big bush for a bangin.
She was interested in Druidry, that I could tell,
Cause she asked if my Bile would fit in her well.
When out in the Circle we heard a loud wrangling
I leapt from the bush with my magic wand dangling.
Away to the Heelstone I ran, like a pup
Peering wildly 'round me it see what was up.
The moon on the surface of sacred stones bare
Gave the luster of Fairylight to everything there.
When, what do my mead-addled eyes actually see?
But a Part in the Veil and a bunch o' the Sidhe.
With a God who was radiant from His head to his toes
I could tell from His horns: it must be Cernunnos.
More rapid than eagles His companions they came.
And He greeted them warmly and called them by name:
Hail Briget! Hail Balor! Hail magical Gwithion!
Hail Dagda, Hail Dana! Hail powerful Moderon!
From the Sea of the Underworld to the Sky up above
They filled up the Circle and infuse it with love.
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So, up to the Lintel stones everyone flew
Bright Gods and Great Goddesses, Fairy folk, too.
And then, round the stone tops, Divinity danced
Filling the Circle with bright radiance.
As I shielded my eyes from the light all around
Cernunnos came and He sat on the ground.
He was surrounded by animals, from all over the Wood
Attracted by power and forces of good.
The knowledge of Ages He held in His head
The words of the Living, the thoughts of the Dead.
His eyes, full of wisdom! His smile, so serene
His staff, it was Rowan, His garment was green.
His magnificent horns were a wonder to see
Like a stag's they protruded, it looked like, to me.
A snake twisting madly, He held in His hand
And at the near end was the head of a ram.
He had a wise face and a slender physique
The sight of His form made my own legs go weak.
He was handsome and strong - a right powerful God.
And I worshipped Him there and admired His bod.
The glow from His head, like starlight so near
Soon put me at ease, I had nothing to fear.
He chanted a sound like the wind in an oak
And he granted our Boons before they were spoke.
Then twisting His Torc 'round his neck, with a flair
He hovered and floated up into the air
He parted the Veil, to the Sidhe gave a blessing
And away they all went, without any messing.
But I heard Him pronounce, ere they all disappeared,
"Blessed Yuletide to all, and a Magical year!"